Self Centered or Motivated

Its late at night and im just thinking about the strees full day I endured. Taking finals, finding out a family member has passed and trying not to break down and cry at work, all while trying to find some one to take my later shift so i could go home and be with my family(3hr drive)
And now its 12:38 in the morning and im all cried out thinking about other ways to make money! Does this make me not care about what just happened to me or have i just gotten to my passing family members quota for this year? Ive had two other members pass earlier this year and I missed both funerals due to work. I was determined to get down here and be with my family. You know how the old saying goes...for it's 1..2..3 strikes you're out... I just couldn't miss this one. And yet im the only one awake my mind running wild and me thinking of how self centered I must be to be so done with mourning. I am not sure if it is that, or maybe im just feeling motivated and I bet my grandpa would tell me not to mourn his death and make him proud by completing the many goals I have set out for myself. Maybe I realized that this down time is a good time to set  more goals and make plans to keep pushing in life until I have everything my heart desires. I mean really if anything all of this death is a clear reminder that life is to short and we should do all we can and waste no time standing still when there is so much more moving to do. All i know is at the moment I can smile I am happy,

back in my old room at my mothers house and for whatever reason it makes me glad to know that I can smile in the midst of this storm, happy because I know gramps wouldn't have it any other way, because he can rest easy and not suffer any longer, happy because I now can be of aid to my family members who are having a hard time accepting this day.... But am I being self centered or motivated?